Marriage Relationship Counselling
Most people do not want anything to do with going to see a marriage relationship counselor. “Oh no, I don’t need to see a shrink,” “Our marriage is just fine,” says the oblivious guy or gal. But the truth is, people just don’t know what they don’t know and often don’t figure it out until it is far too late.
This happens because there is a strong lack of communication in the relationship. “But we talk all the time!” Often the individual who believes this is blinded to the fact their talk is one-sided. Their “talk” is usually about the “talkers” job, how things are going for them, and complaints they have.
This is shown often in the movies and television shows; the “talker” talks a bunch, then asks the listening spouse how their day went. The “listener” utters a couple of sentences before they are interrupted by something that related to the “talker” and off the “talker” goes again.
The Marriage Relationship: Talker and Listener
If you are in a relationship where you are the “listener” it may be important to speak more clearly and more truthfully about how you feel and how things are for you. Listeners typically don’t complain primarily because they want to keep the peace. This is as much a problem in a marriage as the “talker” talking too much.
The “listener” may need to communicate in other ways such as, in a letter, email, text message, and some points written in all CAPS for emphasis. These will help make sure the “talker” has a chance to hear without cutting off and interrupting the train of thought of their spouse.
The purpose of marriage relationship counselling is really to help both parties communicate clearer and better. This can be done without a counselor if both parties have the patience and discipline to listen and listen objectively. This is enhanced with a quality counselor, who obviously should be non-bias, and able to hear what each party is attempting to say to each other.
Most Husbands and Wives Aren’t Conventionally Trained…
In addition, the counselor should help each person articulate their concerns to each other communicatively. Couples are often bamboozled into what they think relationships and marriages are about. Husbands and wives aren’t conventionally trained to be husbands and wives.
Spouses often pick up what they know about married life by observation, from their parents or what they observed on television. Any and everything in life requires training and experience. This is why companies have internships, and why we go through an educational process.
In the educational system and internships, we have counselors, who aide people in their quest and goals. When it comes to marriage, there isn’t the same setup, unless you’re part of a church that puts an emphasis on premarital counseling. Most couples don’t want to be associated with needing a marriage relationship counsellor, but that idea is really pride and ignorance.
How to Know If You Need Marriage Relationship Counselling?
Many successful couples who utilize a marriage counselor realize new ways to approach their differences. The counseling has been known to help save many couple’s marriages, and this is what is important when it comes to a healthy society. Healthy societies are based and built on healthy families, which are more often than not built on healthy marriages.
How to know if your marriage needs a marriage relationship counselor? If your marriage still reeks of arguments over who didn’t do the dishes tonight, or who left the TV on downstairs overnight; you may not need a counselor. Your marriage may just need order. However, if you’re lacking intimacy, you or your spouse is nicer to their coworkers (some whom they don’t like) more so than they are to you (and vice versa); it may be time to figure out why with a counselor.
A counselor is simply someone trained and experienced in a field, in this case, marriage and relationships, to give counsel. They usually can detail or find where the problem lies in the marriage. Further, they can help you and your spouse communicate what you are actually trying to say.
Develop a Better You (for your spouse)
I suggest first you continue to educate yourself about clear communication and learn about yourself. This site and others will lead you to a volume of books, audios, videos and more on the subject, which can enhance your knowledge base. One thing is for sure, the better you are, the better your relationship will be.
Thank you for joining us today. It’s always a pleasure to have you. MarriageandCounseling.com is a resource for helping relationships and marriages mend, if necessary, and thrive.
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