How do you know when it’s really all over? Is it when one of you calls it quits? Or, is there still hope even when someone has walked out? This article will look at marriage and counseling relationships – break up or make up.

There are numerous reasons that relationships break up. Some of them are even good reasons. For instance, if you are just leading your partner on, it is right to cut him or her loose. If he or she isn’t trustworthy, that is a good reason for a break up. Of course, sometimes people’s lives change and the partner no longer fits into the total picture, in which case, it is good to end the relationship.

So, when do you make up?

There are two components to saving a relationship. First of all, you have to both love each other. But that alone is not enough to save relationships from breaking up. For instance, partners of different religious faiths may love each other but find that love alone can’t bridge the difference in their outlook for the future.

You also have to be able to see a future together. If you can’t see the person in your life in six months, you might as well separate now, even if you have a real bond of affection. And, if this is a serious relationship and you can’t see yourself marrying your partner, you will be doing both of you a favor by calling it quits.

If you are going to make up, you need to reflect on the relationship’s break up. Why did things go sour? When you have identified the root causes of the split, you can begin to fix things.

It may take time to fix things. While your ex may not be willing to jump back into bed with you, they might be willing to be friends and to work on the relationship. In fact, after a relationship’s break up, you may not want to start right back where you left off. Instead, take some time to rebuild the romance in your lives.

Here is some marriage and counseling advice for people who are wondering whether to break up or make up.

First of all, listen more than you talk. Don’t always try to explain your position. Try to understand your ex’s. Also, listen without planning a rebuttal.

Next, remember to do the things your ex likes. If she likes it when you buy her flowers, get a dozen roses. If he likes it when you go to his football scrimmages, go. This shows that you pay attention to their wants and needs.

Show your ex that they are on your mind even when you are not around. You can do this by calling or texting them.

Call each other by loving or pet names. This brings exclusiveness to the relationship.

Try to have fun again. Too many times, relationships become too serious. “Communication” becomes paramount. But, dating is supposed to be fun. Try putting the serious issues aside from time to time and focus on enjoying each other’s company.

When it comes to relationships, break up is hard because you have invested so much in the other person. Because of this, making up is sometimes the better answer.

If you’ve had a break-up, marriage and counseling can help. You are probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love. Neither is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different. You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. Try to be as unbiased as you can. You might decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea.

If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you’ve done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.

If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)

When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.

If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said.

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past. While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.

Also, to win back lost love, show the person the “you” they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities—kindness, thoughtfulness—not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best “you” you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.

For more marriage and counseling tips and how to win back lost love help Here are two books that I can recommend to you. You will find that they approach marriage problems and solutions from two different angles and are both helpful in their own way. The first, “Saving Your Marriage” is my own (sure I’m biased). In it I pass on some good tips and advice that I guarantee will help. I also give you a very nice book “101 Ways To Say I Love You” as a bonus. I have provided a special discount to readers of this blog. You will get it for just ten dollars. The other book that I can recommend to be very helpful is “The Magic Of Making Up” by T.W. (T-Dub) Jackson. He has already helped save over 6,000 marriages (that was at last count, probably a lot more than that now). I’m sure he can help you too.